HK Gymnauts

Mr T,

You missed one of the important tribes in your description of the local Gym (

The stationary cyclist.

A quick glance at these ladies on the exercise bicycle, and nothing appears out of place (legs turning, the right sports shoes, coordinated tracksuit top and trousers). But the telltale signs are:

  • Perfect makeup in place
  • No visible sign of exertion
  • Magazine open on the handlebars for easy reading

With the effort level set down to zero, they happily pedal away an hour of their time. A five-minute walk would probably be more beneficial to their health.

Mr B.

PS I remember you pointing out the slab-thighed stair-mistress on a recent visit to your building. I've been wondering if there is any Tomb Raider connection ?

Return of the thighs

Just to reassure Mr B, the lady with the megamuscled thighs has returned, more massive than ever! She's been there the last couple of times I went to the gym.

Also, a corollary to Mr B's stationary cyclists: how about the young ladies who use the treadmills, and choose one of the pre-set programs, but then leave the speed at the very lowest level? In practice, on the machines in my building's gym, at least, this results in warm-up and cool-down sequences in which the treadmill barely moves -- we're talking so slow that some of them almost lose their balance trying to keep up -- or down, as it were. But they always run through the full cycle, so that they can go out and claim they've done a full workout!

Yet another type

You're right, Mr B -- I don't know how I missed that one. They're everywhere, these no-resistance biker chicks!

I was in the gym last night, and found yet one more: the Sitter in Bronze. He does one set on the bench press machine, then decides he'll just sit there and wait to do his next set. In the meantime, he starts watching the gyrating CantoBimbette on MTV Asia, which is playing on the overhead TV, and soon his posture slackens, his mouth opens and begins to gently drool, and he's completely forgotten where -- and possibly who -- he is. Until Mr Tall comes over to do his own reps, however, and wakes him up smartish!!

Mr Tall

Interesting article?

I regularly read the Wall Street Journal opinion page online, and today came across this little write-up that I found, ahh, resonant. Nice work, Mr Varadajaran! Actually, he has some excellent categories.